Heidi D’s story

I have lived with pain for 25 years, I have adapted to living with it to a degree, it’s become my ‘normal’. I know that I am being dismissed by people that would take a sick day for much less pain, when I power through and get on with it.  As women, it feels like there is a cop out excuse for any kind of pain we experience, whether it’s ‘growing pains’, puberty, stress, or menopause. I am furious that being a woman comes with the expectation that we should live in chronic pain and that refusing to put up with it makes us ‘difficult’ or opinionated.

I am not the type of person to go to the GP for no reason, I will always try to see if there is something I can do first. I work full time, I don’t want to take time off for a GP appointment, and I certainly don’t want to waste my time outside of work sat in a GP office. I have much better things to do with my time, this isn’t a hobby. If I absolutely need to go to the GP, I always take my partner with me as, sadly, I know that I have more of chance of being taken seriously if there is a man with me, backing me up.

Medical gaslighting has led me to question my sanity and whether my symptoms are real, despite plenty of evidence to prove that they are.

There have been numerous occasions where my partner has begged me to let him take me to A&E when I’ve been in crippling pain but I always refuse. I would rather ride out the pain at home where I am in my comfort zone and nobody questions if my pain is real, or makes me question my sanity.

All I want is to be heard, taken seriously, and to get some answers so I have an idea of what I’m dealing with, which may make it more manageable for me. FTWW has provided me with so much support in this way, just by showing me I am not alone. I am sharing my story now to hopefully help other women in my position.